Bas Rehan De Chehd Na Darda Nu…

Ever Since I Saw Megha I do not what was happening to me. I have cried for her, prayed to god for her well being and even discontinued my Master in Science (GIS) which I was pursuing from University of Austria. I am not able to concentrate on my work and do not want to accept the very fact that she belongs to some other and she is very happy with him; much happier than I can keep her. I was also pondering that the lucky man must be miles ahead of me in terms of personality and luck. The inferiority complexes always surfaces up when I am completely blown in something and the first thoughts that always come up in my mind are “I am Not Good Enough; I am too Lousy and Terrible”. I even accustom my self to the useless thoughts that "May be because I am small town Hick who has unnecessary set the goals too high that I do not deserve”. Even better I curse god for giving me such a useless life.

There was a change that others were noticing in me and the rumors were on that I have become too emotional and my mood swings are too erratic and I have simply given up the company of other people and just gone too self-centered, all fear this may not be the starting stage of Schizophrenia. Some were even referring me for a visit to psychiatrist. Here in office I have also resigned from my additional responsibilities of Drawing In charge; Project Management In charge, Mess In charge and Documentation In charge as I do not have extra time for all these activities. Here at guest house I have totally found refuge inside Booze after returning from the Office. I prefer to drink it in alone so that I do not have to tell others why I am quiet today. The Petty Devdas of Projects Department was in making who has been looted by Paro of Marketing Department. I have tried no of times to send her a SMS that how much I love her but every time I type a SMS I could only store it in Drafts as I was get over by a fear of complicating and messing her and my life unnecessary. I just wanted her to know of my unbundled love meant for her only once so that the enormous pain inside my heart can be undone; No issues if she refuses; I just wanted her to tell once. But as they say too many love gurus complicates the easy sailing as in my case the Love Gurus: Achariya Rahul Dev G and Shri Shri 108 Gullu Jatt G who advised me that “Forget her” “she should think you are unnecessary sticking on her” “have u kept your job aside” “U should become friends first” “Ask her about MBA Programs” “Give her mobile number to us, we will talk to her for you as you are too drunkard” Blla Blla on finding once that I have written a lengthy SMS meant for her.

Here Pinni Pinni Chacha was blaming it all on Megha that “Mohan has been cursed by a devilish spirit residing inside Megha”. He further said “She is surely descendent of Maimni Chudail who once walked the jungles of Nanital”. The only reason Chacha circulates these rumors because I have refused the last night to buy a bottle of Vodka which he demanded and now I was paying the price in terms of rumors. Like always Mr. LV Khan was more interested in when subject of spirits and Chudail is discussed. Mr. LV said “Definitely she looks like a Chudail; I have seen a Chudail once in my life and I must say she looks quiet similar.” I did not listen to all the useless chatter and went to my room and opened up the Beer that I have kept as stock for emergency. I switched on my laptop and plugged in the only song that I listen these days over and over again: “Sohniye!!! Hireya!!!! Teri Yaad Ayundi Hai!!! Sinne Vich Tadpda Hai Dil Jaan Jaundi Hai!!! Tu hi Jind Meriyea Dil Da Krar Ni!!! Tu Ajja Tainu Rabb Da Vasta!!! Udikda Main Tera Rasta!!!........” By Sahel.
It was 11:00 PM and I have not had my dinner yet; for me everything seems to be moving in a slow motion when my phone started ringing; Kocha my Pal at Bathinda was on line and broke the good news that he would be getting married soon and tomorrow is his engagement and I must be there…..I was overwhelmed after hearing this but as I have to complete the checking of the RA Bill I could not promise him for my presence. I opened up one more can of the beer and drank it. Whether its time for Rejoice or Sorrow Booze has now become my inseparable part.

The next day Chadda Sabb (sorry forgot to tell you new name of Mr. Gaurav) and me bunked the office and went to see the Movie “Rabb ne Bana Di Joddi”. “What a Movie that was; what a love story; Sharukh is my favorite” I said to Chadda Sabb after returning. I was quiet during movie hours and thoroughly enjoyed each and every part. “The girl in the movie opposite to Sharukh looks like Megha Na” I asked to Chadda Sabb. “Jai ho Maharaj, Tusi Bhi Vadde Aashiq Ho Gaye” came the immediate reply. Here I was getting more and more involved in listening to scores “Haulle Haulle Se Hawa Chalti hai” and “Tujh Main Rabb Dikhta hai, Yara Main Kiya Karu.” I replicated the moves done by Sharukh in the guest house and went to a exhausted sleep

To be continued………………………….